Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
