You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
