Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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