Having a random hookup so left but love u
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize