whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
