I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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