If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
we're making bets on your personal life
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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