Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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