My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
