theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
