Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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