Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
