also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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