he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
