I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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