glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
