I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
