I want to make a zoo with you.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
