So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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