guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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