Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
