he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Randomize
