My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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