Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize