Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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