I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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