Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
you told grandpa to call you daddy
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
