I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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