I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
