Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
