Can i not drive my cunt home
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
