Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
