just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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