Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
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I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
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I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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