Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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