Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
