my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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