Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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