i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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