I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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