Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
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on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
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Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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