Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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