It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
