May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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