Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
