So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
