i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
