I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize