I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
There's always time for handjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Pants are for mortals
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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