I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
birth control should be required to get into college
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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