so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
