Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
