threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
