Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
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Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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