That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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