its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
