is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
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I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
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Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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