Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
