help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize